Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
