drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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