hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
did you just send me my own nude
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
