I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
