dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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