i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
