She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
NoShamevember. You game?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
