I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
