Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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