I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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