and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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