she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
