Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
that may or may not have been my penis.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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