Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm always down for nudity.
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