Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
