i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
