her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
