why didn't you poke me back
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
