And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
