god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
