Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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