I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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