dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
