It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
