that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
