I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
