Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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