is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
only if we run a train.
done.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
