i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How's work?
Spinning.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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