on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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