You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
