My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
