i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
