I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
