I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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