I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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