It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
