Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
