I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
