i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
