I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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