the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My cat gives me a boner
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
