we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
