Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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