I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
