I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
