so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
