So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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