im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
