super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
